What exactly is that? A chemical reaction in the brain? A series of seemingly ordinary events or pieces of information come together and suddenly you see the world in a whole new light. Why does it happen so seldomly too?
On a quilting chat group someone posted a link and on this link there was an article about rejection. I plucked up the courage to post a message on a blog of someone I admire. I read a blog entry about memory. I read a comment to that post. Ding! A whole load of skeletons came clattering out of my cupboard and the funny thing is, I'm responsible for keeping them there. I kept them in there so as not to upset anyone - they don't really belong to me (some of their owners are actually dead!!) I was afraid of rejection and afraid of Disapproval. From people who already disapprove of me. Now I am invisible to them so why have I been afraid?! I've been afraid to say what I want on this blog and I have been musing a bit about why that should be. Now I think I know. I'm not an 'open book', I won't be talking about the ins and outs of my life but I think I threw out a few demons this morning.
There are some people I haven't told about my blog and I won't. But should they find out I'll be prepared for their nasty, snide remarks (disguised as jokes, yes I know). Why do they feel the need to make them?
3 comments:
Hi Felicity,
I know exactly what you mean about the hesitation to post certain things and fear of disapporval and all that. Very interesting post.
Anyway, I wanted to thank you for your suggestions to my EDM group question and also say I absolutely love your drawings! How long have you been drawing? Have you gone to art school? I think your mug drawing is amazing. It looks real!
It's the week for 'syncronicity' I too have followed blog links and made connections.
I'm pleased for you, because it sounds as though you have come to realising that what you are doing is good - it's people's perceptions that are askew!
I do the same on my blog...sometimes I just avoid certain subjects. I also have not told most people in my everyday life about my blog. Somehow I think it's better that way. The ones close to me who understand that spending time creating is important to me know, the others....they don't get why I spend time doing drawings anyway.
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